fresh starts and motivations

Last week, I loaded up my wedding dress there in my arms and walked it downtown to the alterations place. Even in it's wrapping people knew what it was- I felt like a star for a few moments. Standing still and silent in front a mirror while Vaji put the pins in down at the hem, I had my own moment of thinking, "is this what Grace Kelly felt like most days?" Grabbing glimpses of what the dress would look like fitted to my body and made just for me, made all of the mental to-do lists that come with planning dissolve there in the sunlight streaming through her large windows. Until, the quote came. I was factoring $400 or so. I was shell shocked when she said $800. I think my mind went into cruise control because I agreed in some way, and said I'd be back in 2 weeks with 1/2 the cash, which is when she would get started. When I walked out onto the busy downtown street, I knew. It was time to get back to work.

I checked the email on my phone to find another quote I had been waiting for. A tent... a very large tent- they make days feel like such a festival, and here in Colorado, the summer sun is luscious....and sometimes very intense- making a tent a must for an outdoor, garden celebration. $3,700 for a 100 foot tent, water barrels to keep it held down- which include a truck delivery water and an after hours set up charge. The dress alteration quote warmed me up with a good stinging cheek smack, the tent punched my other cheek.

I walked.

Next to the creek, the flowing water helped keep my mind fresh with the possibilities. I'll get a second opinion on the dress alterations. And, with all of the craftsmen between AMC, and our Dad's- we will make our own covering, we just will. And so, that was settled and peace was restored. Also, a job was in my future. Nothing like a wedding for motivation to bring home some dough.

I went home and got to work updating my resume. I had been scanning the craigslist ads for a few days already and had seen a position that I would apply for. While searching for that one, I came upon another listing and opened to read all of the details.

" I don't believe in resumes, stop in between 8-9 am and 4-5 pm." It was 2:30. At 4:01, I walked in. The interview was better than perfect, if it exists. 2 days later, I was hired, that was Friday. Today is Monday, and I'm just about to jump in the shower and get dressed up a little, kinda like the first day of school.

Yesterday, we went to the Botanic Garden with AMC's family. Admiring the tropical flowers, and gasping at some of them- how does something so beautiful exist? It is my goal during this fresh start, taking cue from those blooms, to be as a flower is. They don't try to be beautiful, they just are. They don't try to be good, or efficient, they just are.

After the gardens, we went to dinner. Jaydan, AMC's nephew and I sat next to each other and played the puzzles on his child's menu. Sunday night.... I remembered what Sunday night's felt like before school. Somewhat comforting, knowing what was ahead, getting into the routine of the week again. Jaydan is in first grade now, and in a way, on my first day- I feel like a first grader too- getting the hang of it all.

It feels good to join Jaydan and the flowers this morning in a new day, a new week, a new job and in a way... a new life, or at least, the start of a new chapter.

Cheers, to just being. And enjoying it too.